Dear Neve Guest Post – A letter to my father.

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A letter to my father.

To my father,


Being a mother has taught me so much, mostly about myself.  One thing I’ve learned is how much I took for granted as a child.  I wish I had known then what I know now about all that you and mom have done for me.  This letter is an effort to show you how much I love you and thank God for you.

One thing I have learned is that there are different types of fathers.  When I looked in the Webster’s 1828 Dictionary, three types of father’s were listed.

The putative father is the man who is reputed to be the father but no one really knows for sure.  Before I was born, this was the only type of father I had to look forward to.  My biological mother, I’m told was very young, she knew she was pregnant and had a general idea of who the father may be, but that was it.  While I was in the womb, although I didn’t know it, I was hopeless.  This type of father, a putative father, would not provide shelter, love, wisdom or even a last name.  Job 8:14 “Whose hope shall be cut off, and whose trust shall be a spider’s web.”  Some may even use the term “deadbeat dad” for this type of father.  In 1983 genetic testing was not done on father’s so there would have been no way to identify if the putative father was indeed the “natural father.”

Often times this type of father, even if he was identified, would not be a man of good character.  This would still have left me with little reason to hope in a full and proper childhood.  My future appeared bleak as a fatherless child. I’m thankful that as I now look back on my life, I can see that God is merciful and had a plan for my life.  Psalm 68:5 “A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation.”  Words really can’t express how glad I am that God had already selected a future father for me.

A natural father is as simple as it sounds.  This man is able to have children easily with his wife.  He may not be ready or have a plan but he is able naturally come about children.  Some of these fathers are good.  They are attentive to their children at home, provide shelter, food and a warm and loving environment.  Other fathers of this type may not be as attentive or loving.  Some people might call this a “normal” dad.

While there is certainly nothing wrong with this normal dad and my own husband is a fantastic “normal” dad, I do believe, YOU, my dad is the best type!  An adoptive father adopts children of another and acknowledges them as his own.  An adoptive father chooses to love a person he wasn’t responsible for bringing into this world.  There is no love that can compare to the love God had for us when He sent His son Jesus to die on the cross and pay for our sins.  However, the love an adoptive father has for his children is, in my opinion the very closest thing on this earth the actual love of God.

I’m so thankful that you, my dad, have been such a wonderful picture of what God the Father has done for me in my life.  I know you weren’t perfect but I’d like to spend a few minutes showing the qualities you have that are mirrored in the LORD.

First of all, you choose me.  You were not forced to take me.  A natural father simply takes what he gets, no exchanges.  Psalm 33:12 “Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD; and the people whom he hath chosen for his own inheritance.”  Just as God sought out a people to call His own, you sought out an infant to call your own.  As a young girl and teenager I would sometimes struggle with feeling unwanted since my biological mother just gave me away.  I was blinded and didn’t see the hand of God in drawing me into your family because I WAS desperately wanted there.  I was focus on the wrong thing, not the true blessing of being in a family that God ordained.

Secondly, you gave me a name Dad.  Not only did you give me a name, it was name after you and in your likeness.  I was named after you with both my first and last name.  This is similar to when God named Adam and made Adam in the image of God. Twice in the Bible we are told that God gives His saints a name.  Isaiah 56:5 “Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off.” Revelation 2:17 “He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.”

Third, you gave me an inheritance.  Now, I’m not sure what all exactly you will include in that but one of the most valued things you could leave me is your family.  Thanks to you dad, I now have a family.  Psalm 47:4 “He shall choose our inheritance for us, the excellency of Jacob whom he loved. Selah.”  God will also choose an inheritance for me, just like you will do here for me.  I’m so thankful and blessed to know that I have a wonderful father who loves me enough to choose an inheritance for me.

Fourth, you saved me from a life of torture here on earth.  If my biological mother, who was just a child herself really, had kept me there is no telling what type of abuse I could have been subjected to.  A single mom would have to rely on others and infants can’t tell their parents when abuse is happening.  You took me from a life that was sure to be filled with want of clothes, food, and shelter and gave me a place in your home.  You gave me a loving mother, clothes, food, and love.

Psalm 40:2 “He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.” God sent His son way down to get me as well.  Jesus paid the cost for my sin so I can have a home in heaven one day.

Psalm 68 is probably my favorite of all.  It has so many promises from God in it.  Psalm 68:6 “God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.”  This verse reminds me that you have given me a family and God choose to give us to each other.  All children want to be loved and accepted and I’m thankful I was blessed with a loving family.

I just want you to know I love you dad, I am so thankful for you and all you have done for me.  I could never repay you for all you’ve given me.

With great love, you daughter,


About Davi!

Davi Todd is a 30 something joyful mother and wife bloggin all about it at www.davitodd.com She writes about motherhood, marriage, home education, home making, and the Christian life. She’s also an aspiring musician who is thankful the Bible doesn’t just say, “play skillfully”, but also includes, “make a joyful noise”!  Davi resides in Florida with her family.

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Other letters in the series!

Anne Carty – A letter to my abusive father

Menna – A letter to my ex best friend

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